Friday 2 May 2014

On remembering this moment when things are rough- a letter to myself

Remember this moment when things are rough. Remember the feeling of looking backwards and watching your class grow. You made an impact. Other people noticed, and you’ve left your class better than you started. That is something to be said. They were marginally one of the worst classes you knew of. And now, they participate, their behaviour is better, they actually try to speak English in class, and you know all their names. Like the musical interlude in a movie where they only highlight the important moments, but you’re filled with a sense of completion for having seen it.

You know the strengths and weaknesses of some of your students, and you really did have a breakthrough a few weeks ago. You can say you actually ‘whipped them into shape’ just in time for the new teacher. And you’re actually a little sad that you can’t call them yours any more. You never thought you’d say it, but it’s true. Part of you wants to keep them for yourself.

And now you’re moving on to the complete opposite end of the age spectrum. While you were preparing these kids for teenagedom, you’re now working on the most basic life skills. Your kids are still a challenge, but for completely different reasons. But you love them, and aren’t willing to give them up. You just need to build the relationship with your co teacher back up. She seems to distrust you as much as you distrust her.
But it’s only the beginning. In time you’ll look back, and if you continue on in the way you are now, you’ll be able to spot the differences, the changes you made in these kids lives. They’ll remember the times you took to hold their hand, or listen to them, or just to say a kind word or give an encouraging smile.

You’ll be okay. It seems like a lot of work right now. And it is. Enjoy the times you can relax. They may be infrequent, but they’re there. Go on a staycation, go for a walk. Paint, crochet, or write. Shoot something (with the camera, of course). Make a target and throw crumpled ideas at it. Clean. Chill. Watch those movies you’ve been meaning to watch. Read. Read some more. Spend time with your husband. Spend time chatting with your friends. Handwrite letters. Draw. Cook. Nurture a plant. Pray.

You are a caretaker, a giver. Love on something. Love on someone. And make sure to take some time for yourself. Show yourself some love too. You get these kids for the better part of every day. You might even see them more than they see their parents. So love them as much as you are able. Practice patience. And show them the grace that abounds from your creator.

You’re always in training for something new. Life experiences are a big deal, and there’s a reason they fit together so well. Take them in stride, and reflect. You never know when you’ll have a pop quiz.


March 7, 2014

No comments:

Post a Comment