DearOne Photography: On real beauty.

See, here's the problem. Like most women, I suffer with insecurities about my body. I have a steady stream of thoughts telling me life would be easier if my thighs didn't touch or my tummy was smaller or my boobs didn't try to escape when I bent over, or my legs weren't so banged up and scarred from choosing fun over being careful, or if my hair was straight, not curly, and didn't turn into a borderline white afro in the Taiwan humidity.

Honestly, you want to feel fat? Be an average-sized woman in her mid twenties and move to Taiwan. Or anywhere that the norm would be a size 0-2 back home. You will almost always be the biggest (tallest, widest, curviest....) woman in the room. Sure, I can see over most people's heads in line, but it does also make me stand out.

And finding clothes? You're joking, right?! Graduation (my kindies) is this Sunday and I was asked to co-host. Which means I need to look nice, or, more specifically, wear a dress. I, thankfully have the perfect dress. Oh, wait. Nevermind, I left it in Canada. So either I brave the department store, or wear the black one I've worn so often it's no longer special.

Three hours and the entire department store later, my coworker and I found one dress that both fit and was appropriate for the ceremony. But remember, I'm average to tall back home, which means everything here is... on the short side.

Inappropriate? No. Uncomfortable? A little.

Thank goodness for black shorts.

But it really makes me think. If I have such problems with the way I look, how many other women do? And if we're all struggling, how many of us are building each other up, telling each other we ARE lovely?

Thankfully, some.

I'll be honest. I think the movement towards real beauty and un-photoshopped, sans-makeup, true-you photos is amazing. I love how women are falling in love with themselves, with what makes them unique, with what makes them them, with the gifts God granted to them.

I've written a little about it before here and here (the second is my favourite).

And I love that as a community of women we're joined together to support each other in these efforts.

But honestly, it's hard. It's taken me 26 years and a move thousands of miles away to a country where I'm almost always the biggest woman in the room to come to terms with the way I look and not only tolerate but embrace it.

I love how big my hair is and how fast it grows.

As troublesome as my curves can sometimes be, I'm grateful I have them.

The sun brought out my freckles. I want to be able to keep them when the sun goes away!

But more than the physical, I've grown to know and love the emotional, mental and spiritual things that make me who I am.

I seek out beauty in things. In people and art and wreckage and love and the ordinary.

I am kind.

I am a helper, and freely give my time when I can.

I looove children.

I take the time to cultivate the fruits of the spirit in myself, and see them reflected in my students.

But as a photographer, it's also my job to get these women I photograph looking as beautiful and as comfortable as possible. But if the don't love themselves first, it doesn't really matter what I do. They're still not going to like the way they look. I know, because I'm still dealing with it.

So women, it's really okay to have those curves in all the right (or wrong) places. It's okay to be tall or short or wide or round or thin or curvy. It's okay.

You were made to be beautiful, and God delights in you.

I got to listen to an amazing woman, Joy Maas, speak last Sunday, and that was her main message. In a room full of women, she encouraged us to look for beauty. As women it's what we're designed to do, but oftentimes we let fear and doubt sneak in and we forget or ignore the fact that God created us not only to be beautiful, but also to search out beauty around us.

But sometimes it means cutting out those things in our life that are less than what we need, or adding things in that seem waaay too difficult to manage at the time.

But we'll be okay. We'll manage and push through and one day look back fondly on those struggles because they showed us where our true strengths are.

I leave you with two more things in addition to the links above.